1. person A: "you dropped me off at the wrong girl's house"
person B: "there's no such thing as the 'wrong girl' make it happen"
person A: " alright see you in the morning"
2. "if you the one who ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you"
"those had pot in them"
"and goodluck on your interview asshole"
3. "so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there-you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup-then you proceeded to put the cup in the mircrowave and melt it because you 'wanted water'. you then fell down the stairs while saying 'you don't know me' then crawled on the couch."
4. person A: "Why are my keys in the refrigerator?"
person B: "You said, 'this is really gona confuse me tomorow.' Apparently drunk you plays t tricks on the hungover you."
person A: "that explains so much"
5. person A: "we didn't even have break up sex.."
person B: "you had it for us with someone else..."
6. person A: "thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely two years ago. I just found your hospital discharge bill in my closet
person B: "anything for my little brother"
7. person A: "I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared."
person B: "I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could be wrong"
8. " Pretty sure I just blacked out the last 48hours, the last thing I remember is the 4pm bar crawl on thurs"
"I can't believe they are going to let me be a doctor."
9. person A: "ambylanc"
person B: "what?"
person A: " there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it"
10. Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. i might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped.
No comments:
Post a Comment