Stupid as can be.

At least when other people are stupid the rest of us can find humor out of it. :) Gives me hope too that I am def. not a failure in life.

1. "Remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?"

2. "So I went on a date with this girl...and whose our waitress?? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present."

3. "ooohhh fuck...chicks a dude."

4. "Can I crash on your couch? Just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs."
    "two?"
    "two"

5. " Happy early Father's Day!"
    " I'm not a Father."
   " about that..."

6. "just walked in on my mom and dad....It wasn't my dad."

7. "I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hands down her pants because I thought it was Lisa."

8. "wtf..he couldn't undo my bra, i asked him if it was his fist time and he said, 'with a girl yeah'."

9.  "Babe, the past four years have been amazing. Will you marry me?"
    "Are you seriously doing this over the phone?"
   "No but I am dumping you."

10. "I drunk madeout with my mom last night. It's gona be an awkward breakfast."

11. "I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom"

12. "I had a wet dream about my mom last night. Words can't even begin to describe how scared I am. what. the. fuck."

13. "Where the fuck is Rob at?"
   - "Dude Rob died 2weeks ago wtf?"
      "Holy shit r u serious? How?
   - "Just kidding, but I'm pretty sure he boned your gf and doesn't want to talk to you."